Mentally Ill Wife - Phillip's Story

The day after Christmas 1997, the phone rang soon after 9AM. Phillip Hodge was surprised when I answered, because he had expected to leave a message on an answer phone. He was a very unhappy and worried man. Only a week before, his wife Julie had left him after 13 years of marriage, taking the 5 children aged 2 -10. Two days later, 6 police turned up at the family home with an Interim Protection Order to evict Phil because Julie was now "afraid for her and the children's safety". Orders over house and marital assets were filed, and the family sickness benefit was changed to pay into her private account, even though all previous Income Support dealings had been with him. Phil claims he has never hit or abused his wife or kids, and is not being charged with any crime.

Julie had experienced a breakdown a few months before, and the CAT team had to be called out. She was evaluated to be 85% disabled for benefit purposes. She was supposed to have 6 counselling sessions at the hospital, but only did one, and refused to continue. She can not be compelled to attend. Phil has medical records stating that she has unrealistic fantasies, some of a religious nature. She is also a regular cannabis user. Two of her sisters have a mental illness history, and claim to have been sexually abused. One is estranged from her mother because of this, and has received $10,000 compensation from ACC.

Because Julie's psychological condition left her unable to properly look after the children, Phil has been the primary caregiver, and he is now extremely concerned for their safety. In the past, Julie has fallen asleep while looking after them, and once their two-yr-old was found wandering in the middle of Northcote Road by a Yellow Bus driver. Phil was aware however that any attempt on his part to contact them was likely to lead to his arrest and imprisonment, and he felt quite desperate about this situation.

Julie is being helped by Liz, an ex-Social Welfare counsellor now a solo mother herself and bitter about her own experience with men. Phil knows Julie well enough to be sure she would not be capable of initiating these legal proceedings on her own.

Phil is supported by his mother-in-law, who naturally knows her daughter well. She considers him to be a good dad and the best bet for her grandchildren's future. She has arranged for him to see his children for 2 hours at her place, but his long term chances of getting custody of them is low. After all, in cases where custody is contested, final orders by the family court favour men less than 15% of the time.

The only violence in this relationship is Julie's use of the domestic violence protection system to control and disempower Phil. He is backed into a corner with few options for improving his situation, or for giving his children the care they need. Liz's influence on Julie seems to be mostly negative, and Phil feels like she is projecting her own unresolved conflicts onto him.

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